Trauma

What is trauma?

Trauma is more than violent events. It can arise on the playground, from childhood, and from past relationships, too.

TRAUMA! Many of us will picture horrific accidents, war, and natural disasters. However, our brains register many other events in our lives as traumatic.

Like the obvious traumas, the less recognized ones also interfere with our lives. These creep into our thoughts, dreams, perceptions, and, unfortunately, our relationships.

You can see it in yourself or your spouse.

Question the reaction – “Why is there so much discomfort over almost nothing?”

Perhaps you wonder why your spouse gets angry so quickly or so intensely over what you perceive as a relatively minor or moderate incident, yet they are enraged.

When you try to discuss something, your spouse becomes far more emotional than one would expect.

Your partner might not seem to be engaging; there is an overload stemming from the current issue, combined with past hurts and trauma.

Although you strive to be intimate with your partner, some things are off limits, triggering or eliciting a physical response. Consequently, intimacy becomes uncomfortable and less frequent.

Break free from trauma’s shackles and chains.

Don’t let trauma win; take back your life.

Discovering and addressing the traumatic events from one’s past can greatly enhance romantic and other social relationships.

Talking through trauma is insufficient to release the pent-up emotions stored in the body. Using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and/or Internal Family Systems (IFS), you can work to take the emotion out of the memory, allowing you to recall a trauma without feeling it emotionally.

As a result, the trauma no longer creates the trigger that has disrupted your life in a multitude of ways.

Childhood trauma can stay with you.

Sometimes, we leave our childhood with beliefs such as, “I’m unlovable; I can’t get it right; I’m not good enough; I need to be perfect; the world is not safe; I’m not safe; It’s my fault; I should have known better.”

These are just some of the messages one may carry into relationships that undermine vulnerability and intimacy. Instead of having the comfort of another’s love, one struggling with trauma may never believe that they are safe, loved, or good enough.

Feelings of shame infiltrate the relationship. One may believe “I should have done something, it is my fault, I have no value, I am shameful.” These messages may come from bullying, neglectful parents, abusive parents, abusive relationships, a caregiver’s death, or perceived abandonment, a misperception or interpretation at a young age.

Face these messages and help yourself recognize, not just rationally but emotionally, that you are enough, you are lovable, you are valuable, worthy, you are safe, you have nothing shameful, etc. Get these messages out of your mind, heart, and soul and recognize who you really are, what the world is, and what your partner wants to offer to you. Take the opportunity to dispel these beliefs and engage differently. Make your life happy.

Overcome trauma’s hold on you.

Through therapy, you can think about the traumatic event and not be triggered. You can free your body and mind of the weight that has plagued you for years, perhaps a lifetime.

Addressing past issues need not take long; often, only a few sessions are required. With EMDR, there is no need even to verbalize what has happened to you! It feels like magic, but your brain and body will allow the release of the traumatic event from you emotionally and physically.

Break free from the chains of trauma.

Please get in touch with me today for more information on how I can help you find lasting peace from your past traumatic experience.