Couples Therapy

What happened?

Have you ever watched a television show or movie where a partner proposes marriage and you wonder, “What happened to us?”

The innocence of early love says, “I will love you forever and ever; we can overcome anything, starts to fade and tarnish.”

However, as you begin to age, responsibilities pile up, children enter the picture, taking much of your couple time and money, and in the blink of an eye, you wonder who you are, and who you married.

The choice is yours: fix or flight.

You have a choice. Reconnect with your partner, prioritize your relationship, and put some elbow grease into making things right.

Without that effort, things won’t get better on their own.

You are worth it, and your children are better off with happy parents.

Every child deserves a happy home.

Set the example. Your marriage is the relationship from which your children learn.

If you live in conflict, avoidance, tension, and silence, more likely than not, your children will repeat what they have experienced and seen.

If you yell at each other, don’t be surprised if your child yells in their own marriage.

Let them see that asking for help is ok. Let them see that a marriage is worth saving and can be saved when both partners make the effort to fix what is not working.

Common problems don’t feel common – they hurt!

Intuition. There is a lot to be said about that gut feeling.

Many instances of infidelity are discovered purely on a feeling or a hunch. And when that hunch is correct, the pain and sorrow begin.

Once discovered, infidelity can make you feel stupid. You question every aspect of the relationship. “Do they really love me? Did they ever love me? How long has this been going on? Why?”

Overcoming infidelity is a painful journey.

The good news is that you can heal from infidelity and other betrayals.

Most authorities report that healing from infidelity takes anywhere from two to five years. It is a ballpark figure, considering we are all individuals with our own unique sensitivities.

As a therapist, I find that when a betrayed individual has their own history of family or past relationship trauma, past messages come rising to the forefront: “I’m not good enough, I’m not lovable, I can’t get it right.”

The way you thought of yourself and how you perceived others’ views of you now feel confirmed. That confirmation reinforces the feeling that failure to be loved would never have happened if you were good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, thin enough, or young enough.

Despite the past, the future can be bright.

Couples can and do heal from the betrayal of infidelity, financial dishonesty, and years of past addiction.

As we work together, we will hear the whole story of the betrayal, the remorse, and the sincere assurance that this will never happen again, which is the starting point to repair and rebuild.

Therapy offers an opportunity.

When things are not working, when betrayal happens, when couples pull apart, struggle with communication, experience conflict, lack attention, or lose intimacy, an opportunity to recreate the marriage is presented.

You might ask yourselves, “Can we pull from our strengths and make what we had better?”

The good news is that couples therapy can help you strengthen your relationship and work as a team.

Through therapy, you can learn new patterns of interaction and understanding, allowing each of you to voice your needs in the relationship. Meeting those needs can transform your relationship.

Keep the promise you first made.

Through couples therapy, you can learn how to be there for each other – during good and bad times – like promised.

How exciting to reconnect with that innocent love of yesteryear. Imagine building a relationship that is loving, kind, patient, and geared for both the present and future.

Let’s work together to help you find ways to make that promise come true.

Please get in touch with me today to learn about my approach to couples therapy.